Many moms judge me when I say that I let my babies "cry it out." I started letting them cry it out around six months old, because it was around that age that they stopped just getting exhausted, laying their head down and falling asleep.
I would be up for hours, and so would my husband, as we'd try desperately to rock two babies to sleep. Then we got to the point where we just put them in their cribs, crying and screaming at the top of their lungs, and shut the door. After ten minutes or so, they were fast asleep.
Yes, it is heart-wrenching to hear your babies cry until their voice gets hoarse. I hate it. But for me, a mom of twins, sometimes its the only way they can fall asleep. We try to set a time limit of ten minutes of letting them cry it out, and then we'd check on them, put pacifiers in, etc.
Crying is, for me, the best way to drain all of my energy and I know it is for my babies as well. It doesn't hurt them as long as you keep the crying to a time limit and, for me, is much safer than resorting to co-sleeping to get your babies to fall asleep.
So, just know, you will find no judgement here for using the CIO method. You'll just find empathy and support.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Ten Months Old!!
This past weekend, our little cuties reached the Ten Month mark!! I can't get over how fast they're growing! They are so fun and interactive and really love playing with us. I love being showered with kisses and hearing their giggles as they discover something new together. Though they are still doing the tummy crawl, they are getting so much more mobile! We really have to keep an eye on them, or else they'll be across the house in a flash.
To celebrate their Ten Month old-ness, we watched the Seahawks (barely) win against the Packers! These are the cutest little 12th Men ever!
Cadence is also very affectionate! She still hasn't learned to say "no", so when I ask for a kiss, she always delivers! She is starting to learn how to get up onto her knees, but she still loves army crawling everywhere and she's really good at it! Her favorite show is "Signing Time" (a children's show about sign language) and when the theme song comes on she starts giggling like crazy! It's adorable. We have heard every episode of that show (that's on Netflix) about a thousand times because sometimes it's the only thing that can make them happy!
One thing that I love about this age is how much they are interacting with each other. We often wake up in the morning to them playing peek-a-boo with each other in their cribs and hearing them giggle as they play. It's the best way to wake up! They follow each other around the house and we'll sometimes find them both on top of each other too!
I always thought being a mommy would be SO much work, and it is. But I didn't know it would be so much FUN too! I'm so blessed to have such good babies! They are our everything.
To celebrate their Ten Month old-ness, we watched the Seahawks (barely) win against the Packers! These are the cutest little 12th Men ever!
These girls love to play games like peek-a-boo and be tickled. They have such strong personalities too! Aria is becoming much more out-going than Cadence, but at the same time, Cadence isn't afraid of anything. She is just fearless.
We took the girls in for their check up last week and they both weighed a little over 21 lbs. They love going to the pool every Saturday and love trying to walk around with our help in the water.
Aria (just today) started saying "baby"! Sometimes it comes out as "aby" but a lot of times you can hear "baby" loud and clear! I wonder if that's because they hear us calling them that! She has also learned how to shake her head "no" when she doesn't want something. She is very affectionate and loves giving me open-mouthed kisses. She is also very curious and gets into anything and everything! They have a special fascination with their diapers and will open a package of them and take them all out and spread them across the room! I'll clean the house during nap time and a half hour after they wake up, it's messy again!
Cadence is also very affectionate! She still hasn't learned to say "no", so when I ask for a kiss, she always delivers! She is starting to learn how to get up onto her knees, but she still loves army crawling everywhere and she's really good at it! Her favorite show is "Signing Time" (a children's show about sign language) and when the theme song comes on she starts giggling like crazy! It's adorable. We have heard every episode of that show (that's on Netflix) about a thousand times because sometimes it's the only thing that can make them happy!
I always thought being a mommy would be SO much work, and it is. But I didn't know it would be so much FUN too! I'm so blessed to have such good babies! They are our everything.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Getting Your Pre-Pregnancy Body Back After Twins.
You just had twins. Your breasts are aching as your milk comes in to feed two hungry little mouths. Your C-section incision is tender (or even below the belt) after delivering two HUGE babies. You're tired. You're cranky. You're still figuring this twin mom thing out. You look down at your deflated mess of a belly and think, "How the heck am I ever gonna fit into my clothes again?"
After I gave birth to Aria & Cadence, I thought the same thing. Around my 30 week mark my belly just sprouted all sorts of stretch marks going horizontally, vertically, diagonally.... basically EVERY DIRECTION. I was depressed thinking of my post-partum body and how horribly distorted my stomach would be.
About a week before giving birth, I bought this amazing post-partum girdle called "The Belly Bandit".
I put it on while I was in the hospital after the twins were born. I really liked it because it actually protected my C-section incision from opening because it was a barrier between my clothes or even the babies as they breastfed. When I first wore it, the wrap barely closed over my huge belly (still lopsided with all my organs pushed up against my ribs) and after a month of wearing it, my stomach had shrunken down so much that the wrap was too big on me.
After I gave birth to Aria & Cadence, I thought the same thing. Around my 30 week mark my belly just sprouted all sorts of stretch marks going horizontally, vertically, diagonally.... basically EVERY DIRECTION. I was depressed thinking of my post-partum body and how horribly distorted my stomach would be.
About a week before giving birth, I bought this amazing post-partum girdle called "The Belly Bandit".
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| Click HERE if you want to learn more about The Belly Bandit! |
Breastfeeding, as I'm sure you've heard, helps with the weight loss. But you also need to be eating a lot to keep up with producing enough milk to feed two babies, so fill yourself up with good things. I ate a lot of apples and tangerines throughout the day and had two peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and a pretty big dinner.
Luckily, I had my mom and husband with me after giving birth and she would watch the girls for an hour while Kurt took me to the pool and I just walked the length of the pool for 45 minutes. It was a very easy, non-strenuous work out, but it really helped me bounce back and lose all that weight.
With the stretch marks, I don't know what to tell you. I haven't found anything to get rid of them. But the Belly Bandit did help tighten the skin on my stomach and wearing some nice comfy Spanx also really helped to restore the elasticity in my skin.
Your body, while pregnant, produces a hormone called hCG. After giving birth, it helps shred a lot of the weight you gained during pregnancy. It's wonderful!
By about 3 months post-partum I was already 12 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and feeling fantastic!
Be sure to keep the weight off even after that hormone wears off. Eat healthy, go on walks with your babies at the park, take a night off and go to the gym. You want everyone to say, "Whoa. She had twins?!"
Friday, January 9, 2015
"Are My Babies Behind?"
I know that this question has definitely run through my mind several times. I'm sure as twin moms, we ask ourselves this frequently especially since, odds are, our babies were at least a little premature. And on top of that, there's two of them so trying to get them to sit still while you read a book or sing a song and teach them is near impossible.
Aria & Cadence are the cutest. But they only started tummy crawling at eight months. Some of their friends who are younger than them are already using push walkers, pulling themselves up to stand, or even walking. They have been saying "mama" since they were seven months, but only recently learned "dada" and that's the only two words they know! Ugh, is it true? Are they behind?
I think we, as twin moms, always feel the need to compensate for, well, a lot of things. We gave birth to them a little early so they started off really small and had to develop certain things outside of the womb that other babies their age were born with. We don't get the one on one time with our babies that other moms with singletons get. I can be trying to help Aria to stand, and Cadence will get jealous and scream her guts out, so I stop and help her. On top of that, our babies learn at different paces. So while one may be standing, the other one may be just starting to crawl. Should you applaud both efforts? Of course!
It's not important whether they are doing what their friends are doing, or even what each other is doing, as long as YOU are there to support them in all of their accomplishments, however little they may be.
Aria and Cadence may not be crawling on their hands and knees yet, or walking along the couch, but they have eight teeth, they both love giving kisses, they eat absolutely everything, and they sleep for twelve hours at night.
The truth is, everyone's baby is behind. The baby that is walking at your play date could be keeping his mom and dad up and eating three times throughout the night. The baby that is saying "ball" could be still exclusively on breastmilk and not eating solids yet.
Constantly comparing your babies to other babies and to each other is not fair to anyone.
Keep working with them. Celebrate when they figure out something new. Share in their excitement as they discover themselves. With your support and love they are, most definitely, ahead.
Aria & Cadence are the cutest. But they only started tummy crawling at eight months. Some of their friends who are younger than them are already using push walkers, pulling themselves up to stand, or even walking. They have been saying "mama" since they were seven months, but only recently learned "dada" and that's the only two words they know! Ugh, is it true? Are they behind?
I think we, as twin moms, always feel the need to compensate for, well, a lot of things. We gave birth to them a little early so they started off really small and had to develop certain things outside of the womb that other babies their age were born with. We don't get the one on one time with our babies that other moms with singletons get. I can be trying to help Aria to stand, and Cadence will get jealous and scream her guts out, so I stop and help her. On top of that, our babies learn at different paces. So while one may be standing, the other one may be just starting to crawl. Should you applaud both efforts? Of course!
It's not important whether they are doing what their friends are doing, or even what each other is doing, as long as YOU are there to support them in all of their accomplishments, however little they may be.
Aria and Cadence may not be crawling on their hands and knees yet, or walking along the couch, but they have eight teeth, they both love giving kisses, they eat absolutely everything, and they sleep for twelve hours at night.
The truth is, everyone's baby is behind. The baby that is walking at your play date could be keeping his mom and dad up and eating three times throughout the night. The baby that is saying "ball" could be still exclusively on breastmilk and not eating solids yet.
Constantly comparing your babies to other babies and to each other is not fair to anyone.
Keep working with them. Celebrate when they figure out something new. Share in their excitement as they discover themselves. With your support and love they are, most definitely, ahead.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Three Traps to Avoid As a Twin Mom.
As mothers in general, we have tendencies to do things based on convenience, impatience, exhaustion -- you name it. As mothers of twins, those tendencies are doubled. We neglect very important things because of this. Based on my own experience, I have come up with three traps that we should be vigilant of as twin moms and try to avoid.
1) Don't forget to spend one-on-one time with your kids. This is probably one of the biggest traps twin moms fall into. Even with just the twins, I have been guilty of putting them in their exersaucers and just letting them play and I'm sure it's even more difficult with other children in addition to the twins. But it is so important, even simply on a psychological and developmental level, for our kids to have one-on-one time with their mom. Try to find times during the day to set aside the dishes, stop doing laundry, or pause on making dinner to hold your babies individually. Snuggle with them, tickle them and just observe them and breathe them in. They need to know that you are not just the maid, you're not just the cook - but you're their mom too. Those other things can afford to be neglected, but your children can't.
2) Don't neglect your husband. Before kids, you were head over heels for him. Now that you have kids that shouldn't change. Get that schedule down so your babies can sleep through the night (click here for advice on Sleep Training) so that you can have an uninterrupted night with your hubby. I firmly believe in putting your spouse before your children. You may think that its better to put your children first, but they need to see how a healthy marriage works and that means putting him first. Kiss him as he leaves in the morning, and when he walks through the door yell, "Daddy's home!" and kiss him again. You are benefiting your kids a lot more than you know by loving their daddy and showing it.
3) Don't forget about yourself! We often think of ourselves last, or even not at all, when we assess the needs of the family. But if you are going to do this twin mom thing, you need some "Sanity Time". My Sanity Time consists of craft time, going to Zumba and Hot Hula classes, writing on this blog, and having a Girl's night with friends every once in a while. Find time during the day to do something just for you. Set up a time with your husband so he can watch the kids while you take a break even if its just for an hour. If you have other mommy friends, have them do the same thing and have a girls' night together! It's really one of the most important things you can do as a mom - you NEED a break!
Now that you know, from another twin mom, traps that you can expect along your journey - avoid them at all costs! Don't neglect individual time with your kids, your husband, or yourself! Doing these things will make being a Twin Mom easier, I promise!
1) Don't forget to spend one-on-one time with your kids. This is probably one of the biggest traps twin moms fall into. Even with just the twins, I have been guilty of putting them in their exersaucers and just letting them play and I'm sure it's even more difficult with other children in addition to the twins. But it is so important, even simply on a psychological and developmental level, for our kids to have one-on-one time with their mom. Try to find times during the day to set aside the dishes, stop doing laundry, or pause on making dinner to hold your babies individually. Snuggle with them, tickle them and just observe them and breathe them in. They need to know that you are not just the maid, you're not just the cook - but you're their mom too. Those other things can afford to be neglected, but your children can't.
2) Don't neglect your husband. Before kids, you were head over heels for him. Now that you have kids that shouldn't change. Get that schedule down so your babies can sleep through the night (click here for advice on Sleep Training) so that you can have an uninterrupted night with your hubby. I firmly believe in putting your spouse before your children. You may think that its better to put your children first, but they need to see how a healthy marriage works and that means putting him first. Kiss him as he leaves in the morning, and when he walks through the door yell, "Daddy's home!" and kiss him again. You are benefiting your kids a lot more than you know by loving their daddy and showing it.
Now that you know, from another twin mom, traps that you can expect along your journey - avoid them at all costs! Don't neglect individual time with your kids, your husband, or yourself! Doing these things will make being a Twin Mom easier, I promise!
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
How to Pack A Diaper Bag For Twins.
Having twins means double of everything right? Well, how in the world are you supposed to fit two of everything in ONE diaper bag?!
First off, you need a twin sized diaper bag. My mom bought me this awesome bag (with my name on it!) for my birthday while I was pregnant with the girls. It is a Thirty-One bag and I love it! It has lots of pockets on each side of the bag and TONS of room inside! It fits in our strollers and it's super cute too! We are able to fit all of the necessities (even for an extended stay somewhere) inside.
Being an over-cautious mom I have packed up everything I could think of that might be needed or in case of emergency and then end up carrying around a suitcase-sized load with me and that is just not right. So here are some things that I've found, through trial and error, are absolutely necessary and somethings that you can skip.
DO PACK:
- Two burp cloths
- (At least) two changes of clothes. If possible, pack four (2 for each baby).
- Two bottles
- Two formula dispensers (if you formula feed). We love these!
- (At least) ten diapers, depending on how long you will be out.
- Lots of wipes. We prefer using these Travel Packs so we have enough but don't need to lug around a heavy container.
- A Portable Changing Pad for those messy diapers! We've used ours countless times!
- A Safety Kit. *This one is probably the most important!* We really like THIS kit because it comes with a thermometer, medicine dispenser, nasal aspirator, alcohol wipes, and especially nail clippers! We have needed all of these things from time to time in a case of emergency. When we forgot the kit at home, we had to run to the store and buy some of these things individually. Make sure you have a kit on you at all times!
- Two bibs
- Snacks (cheerios, goldfish, etc)
- Extra breast pads (if you're breastfeeding)
- Two Bulb Syringes (you don't want to get the other baby sick if you don't have to by using different syringes)
- Lots of toys! Keys, rattles, shakers - have a large supply of them so they can keep your babies occupied wherever you go!
- Medicines. Our girls were teething and we forgot their Tylenol so they had a rough time while we were away. If you know your babies will need medicine, don't forget it!
DON'T PACK:
- Small wipes cases like THIS one. They are too small and you'll run out of wipes quickly with twins.
- Scented Diaper Disposal Bags. We bought these when we were pregnant thinking we'd need them, but they've been sitting around unused for a long time. The box is bulky and the loose bags near babies are a hazard. Most places you go will have an outdoor trash can so these aren't necessary.
- Lots of extra pacifiers. We were always losing ours and finally wised up and got our girls these awesome Pacifier Clips! They were already six months old by then, so don't make the same mistake we did!
Most importantly, once you have everything packed up, DON'T FORGET THE DIAPER BAG! :)
I hope that helps you prepare! Are there any things I forgot? Let us know in the comments below!
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Traveling With Twins Under Two.
Most singleton moms dread flying on an airplane with their babies. Us twin moms? NIGHTMARE. Just this past year in 2014 Kurt and I took our twin babies from Hawai'i to Utah (that's a six hour flight, layover, then another two hour flight) and from Utah to Seattle and back (2 two hour flights). So we have had lots of experience in traveling with our twin babies. All of this advice is geared toward twins but a lot of it applies to traveling with babies in general!
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First thing's first: if you're going on a long flight (like to Hawai'i) try to get a red-eye if possible. The girls slept right through everything which was a huge blessing! But if you can't, here are some tips to help get you through it:
1) Always fly with another adult. I can't stress this enough. You need help. So if your husband can't travel, bring your mom or sister. If no one can, then don't travel. Unfortunately, each airplane only allows one infant per row because each row is only equipped with one infant oxygen mask. If you bring two infants, and put one in the car seat and carry the other... then one will have to be in a different row next to a complete stranger. I couldn't do that. You shouldn't either.
This rule also means that you and your husband (or other traveling partner) can't sit next to each other. Not even across the aisle. It SUCKS, I know! So I suggest both getting aisle seats directly in front/behind one another.
2) Use baby carriers to get through security and once you get on your flight. Using a baby carrier frees up your hands which you will need if you are bringing carry-ons. Some airlines don't allow them for take off and landing, but they are wonderful for getting on the flight and for the duration of the flight as well. We use this one and we love it!
3) Try to plan their naptimes for during the flight if possible. Our babies are on a tight schedule, but the schedule can be adjusted for times like these. If you can, try to plan their naptime for during the flight. Wear them out by playing with them while you're waiting to board so that by the time the plane is in the air, they'll be knocked out. Total life saver!
4) Make sure you change both babies' diapers before getting on the plane. This is a must. There are no changing tables in the lavatories on the plane and space is extremely limited to begin with, but even more so with twins. Make sure you change their diapers right before boarding time. That way you shouldn't have any surprises on the plane (fingers crossed)!
5) Feed your babies during take off. This is also a must. Most babies that cry on planes cry because their ears hurt. The pressure as the plane ascends can hurt our ears and even more so a baby's. So make sure your babies are both swallowing something (breastmilk, formula, juice, etc) so that their ears can be cleared and you can eliminate your chances of having a fussy baby while in the air. If you're breastfeeding make sure you have a pumped bottle for the twin your husband is holding! Liquids like breastmilk or formula are allowed through security, but other things like juice or water you will probably have to buy in the airport.
6) Lastly, bring lots of toys! If your babies are like mine, they can get bored fast. Make sure you have some toys in your diaper bag that will keep them occupied. If you can, bring a quiet book or something that won't make a lot of noise just so you won't have to disturb other passengers unnecessarily.
We will be making another trip to Hawai'i this coming year and the girls will be about 14 months old, so we will have to update this again if anything changes by then! Good luck!
First thing's first: if you're going on a long flight (like to Hawai'i) try to get a red-eye if possible. The girls slept right through everything which was a huge blessing! But if you can't, here are some tips to help get you through it:
1) Always fly with another adult. I can't stress this enough. You need help. So if your husband can't travel, bring your mom or sister. If no one can, then don't travel. Unfortunately, each airplane only allows one infant per row because each row is only equipped with one infant oxygen mask. If you bring two infants, and put one in the car seat and carry the other... then one will have to be in a different row next to a complete stranger. I couldn't do that. You shouldn't either.
This rule also means that you and your husband (or other traveling partner) can't sit next to each other. Not even across the aisle. It SUCKS, I know! So I suggest both getting aisle seats directly in front/behind one another.
2) Use baby carriers to get through security and once you get on your flight. Using a baby carrier frees up your hands which you will need if you are bringing carry-ons. Some airlines don't allow them for take off and landing, but they are wonderful for getting on the flight and for the duration of the flight as well. We use this one and we love it!
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| Click HERE if you're interested in this Evenflo Breathe Soft Carrier! |
4) Make sure you change both babies' diapers before getting on the plane. This is a must. There are no changing tables in the lavatories on the plane and space is extremely limited to begin with, but even more so with twins. Make sure you change their diapers right before boarding time. That way you shouldn't have any surprises on the plane (fingers crossed)!
5) Feed your babies during take off. This is also a must. Most babies that cry on planes cry because their ears hurt. The pressure as the plane ascends can hurt our ears and even more so a baby's. So make sure your babies are both swallowing something (breastmilk, formula, juice, etc) so that their ears can be cleared and you can eliminate your chances of having a fussy baby while in the air. If you're breastfeeding make sure you have a pumped bottle for the twin your husband is holding! Liquids like breastmilk or formula are allowed through security, but other things like juice or water you will probably have to buy in the airport.
6) Lastly, bring lots of toys! If your babies are like mine, they can get bored fast. Make sure you have some toys in your diaper bag that will keep them occupied. If you can, bring a quiet book or something that won't make a lot of noise just so you won't have to disturb other passengers unnecessarily.
We will be making another trip to Hawai'i this coming year and the girls will be about 14 months old, so we will have to update this again if anything changes by then! Good luck!
Five Things Moms of Multiples Don't Want To Hear.
For moms of multiples, triplets, or more - our babies are a spectacle. They draw attention wherever we go. Honestly, I love the attention! I think my girls are pretty dang adorable, and love those who tell me they're adorable too! But sometimes, there is unwanted attention. Snide comments that make me feel inadequate, defensive, or worse.
Here are some things that you should never tell a mom of multiples:
1) Please don't say, "I'm glad the twin curse that runs in my family skipped over me!" This is probably the worse one I've heard personally. Someone said it while I was pregnant with twins and it crushed me. I was ecstatic about being pregnant with twins and when I heard this, I felt like they were pitying me for having twins even though I was feeling incredibly blessed. If you do feel this way, keep it to yourself.
2) Don't say, "I don't care which is which. They're the same to me." We, as moms, know how very different our babies are. When you don't take the time to even feign interest in knowing who they are I, honestly, don't want you around them. I want them to be surrounded by people who will appreciate them as individuals and encourage their individuality.
3) Please don't tell us, "I don't know how you do it!" This is the comment I hear most often. I understand that it usually comes with the best of intentions, and is meant to be complimentary. But to me, it makes me feel inadequate. I'm struggling, just like any other mom. I don't know if I am actually "doing it." Being a mom of twins means sacrificing a lot of things other moms do for their singleton babies. I don't get to hold my babies nearly as much since there are two of them. I couldn't breastfeed them for as long as I wanted to since I stopped producing enough to feed both babies. I don't get to dress them up in expensive clothes that I can't afford two of. I spend less one-on-one time with them. Sometimes, I consider the day a success knowing they both are still alive and breathing. Please don't remind me of all the things I can't do for my two babies - all the things they may be missing out on because there are two of them.
4) Another mom of twins with older children told me that she hates when people say, "Oh you brought the TWINS!" and ignore their other children. Again, we love the attention our adorable twins get, but it shouldn't come at the expense of our other kids. Sadly enough, this comment came from her mom. Especially coming from a grandma, these comments can really hurt the other kids. So please, just think before you speak.
5) One of the most hurtful comments I've heard is, "Are they natural?!" Yes, my twins were conceived without fertility treatments but I have a lot of other friends who have twins that did use IVF or Clomid. They shouldn't have to be reminded of all the hardships they went through to get those precious babies every time they are introduced to someone new. I was asked this by my doctor and even then I was like, Mind your own business, man. Why does it even matter? They are twins, and that is awesome.
While these are some of the things that Moms of multiples don't want to hear, here are some of things that we love hearing:
1) Oh my gosh! Your babies are adorable!
2) You're such an awesome mama! Good job!
3) Your babies make me want to have twins too!
4) You sure do make adorable babies!
5) Wow, I can't believe they were both inside you! Way to go, mama!
So next time you see a mom with twins, or triplets, or MORE (whew!) tell her one of these uplifting things and make her day!
Here are some things that you should never tell a mom of multiples:
1) Please don't say, "I'm glad the twin curse that runs in my family skipped over me!" This is probably the worse one I've heard personally. Someone said it while I was pregnant with twins and it crushed me. I was ecstatic about being pregnant with twins and when I heard this, I felt like they were pitying me for having twins even though I was feeling incredibly blessed. If you do feel this way, keep it to yourself.
2) Don't say, "I don't care which is which. They're the same to me." We, as moms, know how very different our babies are. When you don't take the time to even feign interest in knowing who they are I, honestly, don't want you around them. I want them to be surrounded by people who will appreciate them as individuals and encourage their individuality.
3) Please don't tell us, "I don't know how you do it!" This is the comment I hear most often. I understand that it usually comes with the best of intentions, and is meant to be complimentary. But to me, it makes me feel inadequate. I'm struggling, just like any other mom. I don't know if I am actually "doing it." Being a mom of twins means sacrificing a lot of things other moms do for their singleton babies. I don't get to hold my babies nearly as much since there are two of them. I couldn't breastfeed them for as long as I wanted to since I stopped producing enough to feed both babies. I don't get to dress them up in expensive clothes that I can't afford two of. I spend less one-on-one time with them. Sometimes, I consider the day a success knowing they both are still alive and breathing. Please don't remind me of all the things I can't do for my two babies - all the things they may be missing out on because there are two of them.
4) Another mom of twins with older children told me that she hates when people say, "Oh you brought the TWINS!" and ignore their other children. Again, we love the attention our adorable twins get, but it shouldn't come at the expense of our other kids. Sadly enough, this comment came from her mom. Especially coming from a grandma, these comments can really hurt the other kids. So please, just think before you speak.
5) One of the most hurtful comments I've heard is, "Are they natural?!" Yes, my twins were conceived without fertility treatments but I have a lot of other friends who have twins that did use IVF or Clomid. They shouldn't have to be reminded of all the hardships they went through to get those precious babies every time they are introduced to someone new. I was asked this by my doctor and even then I was like, Mind your own business, man. Why does it even matter? They are twins, and that is awesome.
While these are some of the things that Moms of multiples don't want to hear, here are some of things that we love hearing:
1) Oh my gosh! Your babies are adorable!
2) You're such an awesome mama! Good job!
3) Your babies make me want to have twins too!
4) You sure do make adorable babies!
5) Wow, I can't believe they were both inside you! Way to go, mama!
So next time you see a mom with twins, or triplets, or MORE (whew!) tell her one of these uplifting things and make her day!
The Best Strollers for Twins.
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| Click HERE to check out the Baby Trend Double Snap N Go Stroller Frame! |
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| Kona, Hawaii |
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| Park City, Utah |
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| Denver, Colorado |
Unfortunately, the girls outgrew their car seats eventually, and we had to retire this amazing stroller. But, luckily, we found one that was equally as amazing!
When we had to upgrade, we chose the Graco DuoGlider Classic Connect Stroller. It had all the benefits of the Snap N' Go, with the exception of snapping in their car seats since they outgrew them. It has the cup holder, the keys/phone compartment, and lots of storage underneath. But one of the things it has that the other one didn't was a reclining seat! The back seat reclines, which is really nice when one of the girls are asleep - I can just pop them in back there and they'll lie down and stay asleep. It also has cup holders for the babies! We usually stick their toys in there and they are occupied for a long time. The girls have been in this stroller since they were about six months old.
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| Click HERE to learn more about this Graco DuoGlider Classic Connect Stroller! |
I hope some of these recommendations make your Stroller search easier! Do you have another stroller you love? Tell me about it in the comments!
Five of the Best Toys For Twins.
Talking to some of my friends who are identical twins, I asked them what they preferred. ALL of them hated those two methods. They got bored with their identical gifts quickly since you can only play with the same toy for so long. They hated having only a single toy to share because one of them was always left out each time. They preferred having something they could both play with.
But how do you buy gifts for twins that encourages sharing, individuality, and doesn't leave one of them waiting for their turn all the time?
Buy a single toy that they can both play with! Yes, these toys are a bit pricier as stand-alone toys, but when you consider that you're buying it for two (or more) children, it really is a steal!
Here's a list of toys I've come up with just for you!
1) Activity Sets - These types of toys are amazing for babies and toddlers because there are so many activities to do! My girls got an Activity Garden from my parents this past Christmas and they love it! These types of toys are also great for play dates because even your children's friends can have something to play with as well! It encourages sharing because when your twins get bored with whatever activity they are playing with, they can switch and take turns. Price Range: $60-$90
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| Click HERE to check out this Activity Garden! |
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| Click HERE to check out this Little Tikes Discover Sounds Sports Center! |
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| Click HERE for more details on this VTech Grow & Discover Tree House Toy! |
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| Click HERE to check out the Step2 Play Up Teeter Totter!! |
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| Click HERE if you're interested in this TP Activity Spiro Bouncer! It spins! |
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| Click HERE if you want more info on this Edushape Rock N' Table! If you flip it over, it's also a table! |
3) Activity Tables - These are a classic toy that, like Activity Centers, are guaranteed to keep your kiddos busy! Most activity tables come with four sides. Each side offers a different activity so your twins can have constant play. These are also great because many of them are educational as well as fun!
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| Click HERE to check out the Bright Starts Having a Ball Get Rollin Activity Table! |
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| Click HERE to check out this VTech iDiscover App Activity Table! |
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| Click HERE if you want to know more about this LeapFrog Learn & Groove Activity Table! |
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| Click HERE if you're interested in the Fisher-Price LP Music Parade Ride-on Toy! |
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| Click HERE if you'd like to know more about the Fisher-Price LP Shop N' Roll Ride-on! |
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| Click HERE to check out the Sesame Street Shapes & Colors Ride-on!! |
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| Click HERE if you're interested in the Melissa & Doug Band in a Box! |
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| Click HERE if you want to learn more about the Schoenhut BB0310 Band in a Box! |
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| Click HERE to check out the KidKraft Lil' Symphony Band in a Box |
Sunday, January 4, 2015
The Breastfeeding Debate.
Breastfeeding is one of the most controversial topics for new mothers. I struggled for a long time with this debate and all the guilt associated with not breastfeeding.
I fed my girls (from the breast) for just a matter of weeks.
After getting diagnosed with my heart condition and being separated from the girls for four days shortly after their birth, they were already used to the bottle. When I would try to breastfeed them, they would scream and I'd spend an hour trying to calm them down so we could try again. When you have to do that times two it is just EXHAUSTING. I went to WIC and talked to the lactation specialist who was The Ultimate Guilt-Tripper. She told me to spend an hour with each baby (separately) in order to get them used to the breast. They were eating every two hours so that meant breastfeeding 24/7. Um, heck no.
When I told her I wanted to pump exclusively, it was like I was giving up. It's like breast milk from a bottle doesn't count or something. Anyways, I decided to pump exclusively and did successfully for about 2 months. The lasix I was given for my heart drained all the water out of me every time I took it, and subsequently "dried me up". I was supplementing with formula and the ratio of formula to breast milk kept increasing until it was mostly formula. Kurt would remind me throughout the day, "Oh baby, you need to go pump." I was exhausted, I knew pumping would give me only an ounce if that and we'd just be using formula anyways. I think I took a lot of my frustrations out on Kurt. To me, it felt like I was being forced to pump. It was a touchy topic in our marriage for a few weeks. We talked about it and decided that it was best for both the girls and I if we just stuck to formula and Kurt supported me 100%. By the time we moved to Utah when the girls were 3 1/2 months they just drank formula and have ever since.
But I have felt other moms (especially other moms of twins) express their judgement for those moms who choose to formula feed their babies. So much guilt is associated with formula. I hate it. It needs to stop.
Something needs to be understood:
- All moms want to breastfeed, but not all are able to. Deal with it.
- After the baby is 6 months old, there are no additional health benefits to breastmilk vs. formula
- Everyone has their own story (just like me) and we all want to choose what is best for our family
- Stop judging! Why do women antagonize other women? We're all mothers. We all want the best for our kids, right? You can choose what is best for your child, let me choose what is best for mine. Can we still be friends?
If you are a young mother struggling with breastfeeding and are losing your sanity, don't feel obligated to continue trying to feed your baby from the breast based on guilt. Don't feel the need to explain your decision to every other mom you meet. You don't need to. This woman's post really resonated with me. She had breast cancer, had to have a double mastectomy, and people judged her because she was formula feeding. Some people still judged her even after she said why she can't breastfeed. Geez, people, LAY OFF!
If you're a husband and you see your wife struggling with breastfeeding, support her. Encourage her, but don't make her feel guilty if she wants to formula feed. She is trying her best, so don't force her. You honestly, literally have no idea what it's like.
For those people who feel uncomfortable around breastfeeding women, you need to stop your judging too.
I love this article because it promotes the idea that we need to stop referring to it as "breastfeeding" but rather just "feeding". We're not feeding a breast are we? No. We're feeding a baby. Women shouldn't need to cover up to feed their baby whether it's from a bottle or a breast. If she wants to (which I did when I breastfed) then that's great. But she doesn't need to. If you think it's sexual or something weird like that, it's because you're making it that way. Breasts are first and foremost for feeding babies. Let's remember that.
Sorry to be preaching from on top of a soapbox, but I feel that this topic is extremely prevalent among mothers. It's really sad that women put down other women in mothering their children when there are so many other things going against womanhood/motherhood already.
Lastly, to all mothers: You are great! You are wonderful, and no one knows what is best for your child except you.
I fed my girls (from the breast) for just a matter of weeks.
After getting diagnosed with my heart condition and being separated from the girls for four days shortly after their birth, they were already used to the bottle. When I would try to breastfeed them, they would scream and I'd spend an hour trying to calm them down so we could try again. When you have to do that times two it is just EXHAUSTING. I went to WIC and talked to the lactation specialist who was The Ultimate Guilt-Tripper. She told me to spend an hour with each baby (separately) in order to get them used to the breast. They were eating every two hours so that meant breastfeeding 24/7. Um, heck no.
When I told her I wanted to pump exclusively, it was like I was giving up. It's like breast milk from a bottle doesn't count or something. Anyways, I decided to pump exclusively and did successfully for about 2 months. The lasix I was given for my heart drained all the water out of me every time I took it, and subsequently "dried me up". I was supplementing with formula and the ratio of formula to breast milk kept increasing until it was mostly formula. Kurt would remind me throughout the day, "Oh baby, you need to go pump." I was exhausted, I knew pumping would give me only an ounce if that and we'd just be using formula anyways. I think I took a lot of my frustrations out on Kurt. To me, it felt like I was being forced to pump. It was a touchy topic in our marriage for a few weeks. We talked about it and decided that it was best for both the girls and I if we just stuck to formula and Kurt supported me 100%. By the time we moved to Utah when the girls were 3 1/2 months they just drank formula and have ever since.
But I have felt other moms (especially other moms of twins) express their judgement for those moms who choose to formula feed their babies. So much guilt is associated with formula. I hate it. It needs to stop.
Something needs to be understood:
- All moms want to breastfeed, but not all are able to. Deal with it.
- After the baby is 6 months old, there are no additional health benefits to breastmilk vs. formula
- Everyone has their own story (just like me) and we all want to choose what is best for our family
- Stop judging! Why do women antagonize other women? We're all mothers. We all want the best for our kids, right? You can choose what is best for your child, let me choose what is best for mine. Can we still be friends?
If you are a young mother struggling with breastfeeding and are losing your sanity, don't feel obligated to continue trying to feed your baby from the breast based on guilt. Don't feel the need to explain your decision to every other mom you meet. You don't need to. This woman's post really resonated with me. She had breast cancer, had to have a double mastectomy, and people judged her because she was formula feeding. Some people still judged her even after she said why she can't breastfeed. Geez, people, LAY OFF!
If you're a husband and you see your wife struggling with breastfeeding, support her. Encourage her, but don't make her feel guilty if she wants to formula feed. She is trying her best, so don't force her. You honestly, literally have no idea what it's like.
For those people who feel uncomfortable around breastfeeding women, you need to stop your judging too.
I love this article because it promotes the idea that we need to stop referring to it as "breastfeeding" but rather just "feeding". We're not feeding a breast are we? No. We're feeding a baby. Women shouldn't need to cover up to feed their baby whether it's from a bottle or a breast. If she wants to (which I did when I breastfed) then that's great. But she doesn't need to. If you think it's sexual or something weird like that, it's because you're making it that way. Breasts are first and foremost for feeding babies. Let's remember that.
Sorry to be preaching from on top of a soapbox, but I feel that this topic is extremely prevalent among mothers. It's really sad that women put down other women in mothering their children when there are so many other things going against womanhood/motherhood already.
Lastly, to all mothers: You are great! You are wonderful, and no one knows what is best for your child except you.
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