Birth Story.

I know this post is over a month overdue, but here it is.

The night before the C-section I was really nervous. I was told not to eat or drink for 8 hours before the surgery which proved to be REALLY hard for me because I NEED water in order to go to sleep. Throughout my pregnancy I’ve had dry mouth and needed to get up to drink water 2 or 3 times in the night.

With the big day just hours away, I was miserable and needed water. I would try to drink and spit the water out just to moisten my mouth, but it wasn’t working. I threw up a few times as well. I pretty much got no sleep that entire night. Kurt stayed up with me after 4am and we watched the show "Rules of Engagement" as we waited to go to the hospital. We laughed and enjoyed our last few hours as a family of two. I had convinced myself that a C-section would be awesome because there would be no work involved and I'd look great in the pictures afterwards. But that didn't really work out since I got absolutely no rest the night before, so I just looked super exhausted in all my photos even though I didn't do any pushing or have to deal with any super painful contractions. We headed to the hospital at around 6:15 and checked in at 6:30. We took this picture before heading to the Labor/Delivery room.

They set us up in a nice room and prepped me for surgery. They asked me lots of questions and we just waited until they called me in for the C-section. We interviewed each other with the cam-corder as we waited and asked each other how we felt about what was coming.

Soon, the OB came in and explained what to expect. I was soon taken to the operating room where Kurt had to wait outside while they gave me the spinal that would numb me from the chest down. He took this picture as he waited to be let in to the Operating Room.

About to meet his little girls!

Once inside, the anesthesiologist told me to hunch over. I did my best, but I was shaking so bad. I just clutched my huge tummy as he stuck the big needle in my spine several times. It hurt quite a bit and he had to do it probably 3 times total. I kept thinking as I looked down at my belly “I’m gonna meet my babies in just a few minutes!” and that thought calmed me down a little. The feeling after the spinal was administered was really weird. It just felt like a bunch of fingers were on me just touching me, but really, it was the doctors pinching me really hard to see if I was feeling any pain. When they realized that I was totally numb and felt no pain, they told Kurt that he could come in. He came in and sat on the left, near my head. He held my hand as they began to operate. 

I was so nervous. They had a big blue cloth covering everything so I had no idea what was happening. I vaguely remember the doctor saying “I’m in” once he cut me open. They began the surgery at 9:16. I felt absolutely no pain, which was wonderful. I tried to concentrate on my steady pulse on the monitor. Soon, we heard the cries of the first baby. I just remember looking at Kurt and starting to cry because it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I was just praying that they were healthy the entire time. They told us she was born at 9:19 am. Just 20 seconds later, they pulled the second baby out and we heard that beautiful sound again. They were both born at 9:19 but the doctors had to round the second baby’s time up to 9:20 so the computer would recognize that they were separate people. They called Kurt over afterwards to cut their umbilical chords so he got to see them first.

They were still operating on me and removing my placenta and everything. I got to see one of the babies if I turned my head to the side. Kurt had to leave with the babies because Baby A (we hadn't named them yet) was having a little trouble breathing. As the nurses and Kurt left, I got to kiss one of them (I think it was Cadence). I was in the Operating Room for about 20 more minutes after that. Because my mouth was so dry, I started to kind of dry heave after the anesthesiologist removed my oxygen tube from my nose. I had to calm down a lot in order for it to stop. They told me that I did great and then wheeled me down to the 2nd floor where I would sit in recovery until I could control my shivers and regain feeling below my chest. I passed my family at the nursery window on my way down and they were so happy for me. I was super jealous because they all saw the babies before I really did. After they released me from the recovery room we went back to my room that I’d be staying in for the next 3 days.

My family soon came to visit me and I was beyond tired. I was still shivering a little too. Really, this part is kind of a big blur. Next, I remember the doctors bringing the girls in and putting them skin to skin on me. 

Kurt and I decided that we would look at them together and name them. We didn't want to name them before we ever knew them, so we waited. After seeing those two beautiful faces looking up at me, I knew who they were. I told Kurt my thoughts. We both agreed that Baby A would be Aria and B would be Cadence. Aria was sound asleep on me, as cute as can be. But Cadence had her eyes wide open and was just staring at me. It was so cute. I just remember feeling so incredibly blessed and so in love with them. I fall in love with them every single day. Kurt and I are so lucky to have been blessed with Aria and Cadence. They have the sweetest spirits and are just so perfect. We love them so much!!

Identical.

For those of you who don't know, Aria and Cadence are identical twins. This was confirmed at their birth because they were both attached to a single placenta which means that they came from the same egg, which split during conception. Sometimes the differences between Aria and Cadence are as apparent as night and day, but sometimes even we have a difficult time telling them apart.

Their similarities are obvious. They have many of the same curious expressions, their legs stick out straight when they are feeding, their lung strength has drastically increased since they were born and their cries have gotten stronger. They both drown in their newborn clothes. They love to eat and gain lots of weight - they've already gained almost two pounds each! They both have big beautiful gray eyes that get slightly browner each day. They were born with a TON of dark brown hair that needs to be brushed after each bath or else it'll dry in crazy ways. They both have soft, smooth skin that smells SO good. They fall asleep immediately when we put them in their car seats. They always get the same reaction from strangers: "Oh my goodness, twins!? They are so beautiful!!" which is almost always followed by, "You're gonna have your hands full!" Our hands are definitely full with these two, and so are our hearts.

First of all, their physical differences: Aria is (and has always been) slightly heavier than Cadence. Currently, Aria is 7 lbs and Cadence is 6lbs 9oz. Aria has a birthmark on her stomach and Cadence has a small one on her bum. Aria has a slightly longer, narrower face while Cadence's face is more round. Lastly, Aria has longer, fluffier hair while Cadence's is shorter and more matted to her head. 

Their personalities can be night and day different as well. Aria is usually more mellow and reserved, but oh can she scream. She scarfs her food down like it is the last drop of milk on earth and ends up getting the hiccups EVERY time. She loves her pacifier but it is always falling out of her mouth, which poses a problem at three in the morning when she needs it to fall asleep. Lastly, Aria is the smiliest baby I've ever met. She is always breaking out into grins and sometimes even lets out a laugh! It is so sweet. Cadence is our little feisty one. She makes it known when she has a dirty diaper and wants to be changed IMMEDIATELY. With Cadence, there is always a good reason why she is crying and it's pretty easy to figure out. She makes the funniest faces and has us constantly laughing. She has always been the smaller baby, so she really fights for her food. When she looks up at you, it seems she is really looking at you - wanting to know who you are. It is so special.

We have come to know and love these little girls SO much. Everyone who meets them falls in love with them as well. They have such special spirits and it is really an amazing experience to be their mom. I just love holding them, trying to rock them to sleep, and seeing their big, beautiful eyes open and stare up at me. I love getting to know them individually. They are identical, and that is apparent in so many instances. But it is so fascinating to see how different they are as well. It will be an incredible adventure to raise these lovely girls and we can't wait!  

Breastfeeding Twins.

The girls made their two week mark yesterday :) They are doing very well. However, what I have found to be the most challenging thing about having twins is breastfeeding.

This struggle started in the hospital when the girls were born with low blood sugars. The pediatrician gave them formula to get their sugars up - before I ever had a chance to breastfeed them. Soon they got attached to the bottle and breastfeeding was a huge chore and they'd just scream throughout the entire experience and I'd end up in tears thinking I was a horrible mother and they hated me. They were fine when I'd pump and loved drinking breast milk as long as it came from a bottle. 

They have had some good experiences actually breastfeeding, but those are rare. Since leaving the hospital, we've been supplementing with formula since I don't quite produce enough for both babies yet. Most of the time, it's enough for one baby and about half for the other. 

Talking to the lactation specialist at WIC, she suggested that I spend an hour with each baby at every feeding to get them used to the breast. She also suggested I up their feedings to every two hours. With twins, that means I'll be breast feeding 24/7! Um, no thanks. 

For now, my goal is just to get as much breast milk in them as I can. If this means pumping every two hours (or more) and feeding from a bottle then that's fine. As much as I dreamed throughout my entire pregnancy of the special moments I'd get to share with each daughter as we bond over breast feeding, I have to be realistic. 

In many ways, bottle feeding has been great. It takes 10 minutes to pump, and Kurt gets to bond with them as well. The dish-washing is kind of a hassle, and we still have yet to find the perfect bottle that doesn't leak all over their faces. Overall, I'm happy that they are still getting a lot of breast milk. The more I pump, the more I produce, so I should be catching up with their appetites soon. Hopefully they will be weaned off of formula in the next few weeks. 

In other news, the girls have grown! At their 2 week appointments, Aria is now 6 pounds and Cadence is 5 pounds 7 ounces. They are very healthy and are getting bigger by the day!

We just love our little girls so, so much!!