Now that I am nearing 33 weeks, my doctor has ordered that I be seen twice a week at the hospital Labor & Delivery for a Non-Stress Test (NST) and Amniotic Fluid Index (AFI) in addition to the appointments I've been going to every two weeks. I'll be seeing three different doctors so often over the next 3-4 weeks until these babies come!

Me and my big stretch-marked belly at my first non-stress test :)

The two blue monitors measure each baby's heartbeat for about 20 minutes to make sure that their heart rates increase during movement rather than decrease. The third monitor tucked under the top strap measures any contractions I may have. 

What we learned is that Baby B's heart rate is consistently higher than Baby A's. Also, while I may not have any full-blown contractions, my uterus still experiences what the doctor called "irritability" which are subtle compressions. 

During the AFI, which is an ultrasound that measures the amniotic fluid levels around the babies, we learned that Baby B also has more fluid surrounding her. While Baby A weighs more, she has less fluid and a lower heart rate. 

We are glad that the twins are being watched so closely, although this is an overload of doctor visits! But all the monitoring is really a huge blessing in case anything goes wrong and one of the babies (or both) experiences any distress. We are very grateful!

Terrified.

Sometimes, I get terrified. As horrible as that sounds, I really do have nights where I just break down in front of Kurt and tell him, "I'm scared."

Sometimes, I'm scared to have twins.

I'm afraid I'll mix them up as babies and they'll live their whole entire lives as the other person because of my mistake.

I'm scared of all the faces of strangers turning in anger towards the mother who can't control her two screaming babies during Church, or on a plane, or at the store.

I'm scared that I'll favor one over the other or say something hurtful like, "Why can't you be more like your sister?"

I'm scared that I'll involuntarily fall into a bout of Postpartum Depression after they are born.

I'm scared that I won't be able to breastfeed them, or that they will reject me and only take formula or only let other people feed them.

I'm afraid that they will always be "the twins" or "the girls" and never have their own identities.

I'm afraid that when the nurses place my two beautiful girls in my arms after they are born I will look at their fragile bodies and think, "Someone else hold them. I don't know what I'm doing. Please, someone. Anyone."

Most of all, I'm scared that I won't be able to handle being the mother of twins. I'm afraid that I'll just stand there helpless most of the time, amidst two bawling babies, saying to them, "I'm so sorry. I just... can't."

But I know, without a doubt, that Heavenly Father wouldn't have blessed us with twins if we couldn't handle it. If I couldn't handle it. I'll make mistakes, I'll feel terrible, I'll say things I don't mean, I'll stumble on my journey through motherhood and struggle to hold back tears at times, but I know I can do it. I know that it is the biggest privilege, biggest responsibility, biggest trial and biggest blessing I've ever been given.

On the airplane after coming back from my 32 week appointment :)

I know I have a wonderful husband to lean on when I feel weak, and a great family to help me when I need it. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father that will strengthen me as I travel down this new, unfamiliar road.

Thirty, Flirty, & Thriving.

As the 13 Going On 30 reference may suggest, I have finally made it past the 30 week mark of this pregnancy! I'm currently in my 31st week and I feel great! According to my last appointment, the babies are a little over 3.5 pounds each giving them a combined weight of over 7 pounds! That is a normal-sized baby right there, so it's no wonder I look as though I'm about to go into labor at any second. I have also gained 5 pounds of my own weight in the last month, which I'm pretty proud of. Total, I have gained 25 pounds since being pregnant with these twins, and that's not bad!

In other news, Kurt and I have decided to schedule a C-section in late March (around 37 weeks) since it is the safest option for this type of twin pregnancy. Natural birth comes with lots of complications when two babies are linked by one placenta, so we feel this is the best route for us.

We are really excited for what the coming six weeks have in store! We can't wait until these baby girls are finally here!

Here are some of my weekly pictures from the last ten weeks:

Breaking Free.

The girls have become SO incredibly strong! They are constantly moving, stretching, and kicking. I think they want out. But they have to wait just a little while more! :)

Almost every time I look down, I have a lopsided belly.

These girls are constantly testing their newly formed bodies :) They love to dance around when music is playing or when we try talking to them. Their movements haven't gotten too painful for me, which is great. Every so often I feel a foot in my ribs but they just wiggle their way out and it's not too bad.

Sleeping has also been wonderful. I usually wake up once throughout the night to get a drink of water or take a bathroom trip, but I fall right back to sleep afterwards. Honestly, I probably had a worst night's sleep before being pregnant. :)

All I know is that my life is so much better with these wonderful babies in it. I love watching them wiggle and dance inside of me.

 

Impaired Glucose Tolerance.

Yesterday, at my 28 week appointment, I was diagnosed with something called Impaired Glucose Tolerance. This diagnosis came after taking a 3 hour Glucose Tolerance test where I had to fast for eight hours, drink 100 grams of sugar from an orange soda-like beverage, and then get my blood drawn four times within the 3 hour time period. They evaluated my blood sugar levels and if 2 or more of the blood samples exceeded the normal level, I would be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. However, only 1 of my blood samples exceeded the normal level by just 3 mg, and my fate was sealed.

Good news, I'm not diabetic. Bad news, I have to change my eating habits a TON. I have to eat more snacks throughout the day and stop skipping breakfast like I tend to do and I'm only allowed one "sweet treat" a week. So depressing. I also have to keep a food log and take my blood sugar levels four times a week. But it's only until the end of this pregnancy, so that's not too bad.

On the bright side, we found out that the girls are weighing 2lbs 15oz and 2lbs 10oz. They are doing REALLY well. They still have a good amount of womb to move, even though I'm carrying close to 6 pounds of babies now. Here are some new ultrasounds of the lovely little girls. Needless to say, I'm a very proud mama. :)

Baby A :) - Look at those big lips!

Baby B ;)  - Such a cute nose!

Kurt and I love these babies so much! I just want them to be completely healthy, and will do whatever it takes to make that happen - even if it means no ice cream for 2 months! The day they're born, maybe I'll eat ice cream again. I can't wait!

Third Trimester!

Yay! I have officially made it to the home stretch of this awesome pregnancy :) These baby girls are getting ready to come soon! I have over 5 pounds of combined baby weight in my tummy now, and you can tell! I have been told countless times that I look like I'm ready to "pop" but I always assure those people that I still have a ways to go.

To commemorate my entrance into the third trimester, I thought I'd share all that is entailed in:

A Day in the Life of Parents Expecting Twins

Every morning, as I sleep, Kurt wakes up to take my dad to work so we can have a car in case the babies start coming and we need to rush to the Emergency Room for some reason.

When he returns, Kurt clocks in online for his shift at the MTC. We are so blessed that he is able to work from home for the time we are in Hawaii!!

While Kurt works, I am always online prowling for deals on everything -- diapers, wipes, baby clothes, etc.

Everyday, we drive to the local public pool and get in our exercise for the day. I usually walk/run/work my legs while Kurt swims beside me. We love swimming!!

After the pool, we pick my dad up for his lunch break and we all watch some sort of sitcom together.

We return my dad to work and often have to do errands. Sometimes, though, we go out for a treat since we won't have many chances to go on dates after the babies come. :)

The afternoon is filled with lots of chauffeuring since we have one of two family cars.

After everyone is home, we usually start dinner and watch TV (primarily football). It's just a nice relaxing time with the family.

We get to bed around 10, say our prayers and read scriptures, stare at my belly as the girls kick and squirm around inside, and it doesn't take long to fall asleep. We're stocking up on our sleep now!

Our days are pretty uneventful and routine, but we love them! We love that we get to be together while we prepare for the twins' births. We love all the little dates we get to squeeze in before they get here. We love all the time we get to spend with my family. Most of all, we love how fast the days go by and how close we are  to having our daughters here with us to make our days so much more exciting!!!

The Body Of A Mother.

Something that has been on my mind lately is just how many changes my body is going through. This petite 5'2" figure of mine has transformed incredibly in the last 26 weeks. I was looking at pre-pregnancy photos of me a few weeks ago and started to feel a little depressed at how "good" I used to look and how much I don't look like that currently. At my last appointment, I discovered that I have officially gained 20 pounds since becoming pregnant. Then, in the past two or three weeks (I blame all the holiday feasts), stretch marks have been appearing all over my once cute pregnant bump.

One night, I was complaining to Kurt about the lines slowly creeping their way across my belly and he just said, "I think they're beautiful."

He really is the best husband. I'm the luckiest.

Then, like fate, this article appeared in my Facebook news feed. The author gave me a new perspective on my changing body.

She writes, "I have dark pools under my eyes. A valley where my belly button once was. Hips with a new amplitude that my teenage self wouldn't recognize. I have lines mapped across the mountains of stretched skin left over on my midsection. Lightning bolts on my sides proving I once was too small to contain all of the love that filled me. Lines indicating that my daughter once lived inside of me... Those mountains of skin are all I have left to prove that we were once one and not two."

Now, I look at these new stripes as an indication of my healthy, growing daughters. How lucky am I to bare these symbols of motherhood? How lucky am I to be the mother of twins? Not every woman has the opportunity to wear these stripes, but I have been given this privilege and, how dare I complain.

I am grateful for this new perspective. I am grateful for this body. I am grateful that it has the ability to house two beautiful baby girls. I am grateful that they are growing and that each line indicates that their bodies are becoming bigger, stronger, and healthier. Lastly, I am grateful for a loving, wonderful husband who recognizes the beauty in these marks of motherhood.