My Post-Partum Cardiomyopathy.

Some of you might have heard about my personal battle with a rare condition called Post-Partum Cardiomyopathy. For a detailed version of my struggle with it, you can read more about it here. Basically, about 2 weeks after I gave birth to Aria & Cadence I started having trouble breathing and would have to sit up to sleep at night. I developed a cough and then one night, coughed up blood. Long story short, I went to the doctor the next day, then to the emergency room where I found out that my heart was enlarged and I needed to be flown to a bigger hospital on O'ahu immediately. I was medevaced on a small little airplane and didn't know whether I would see Aria & Cadence ever again. It was one of the scariest moments of my entire life.

A very tired me awaiting the diagnosis from the doctors.

There, I learned that my heart had become weakened during my pregnancy (something that only affects a very small percentage of women) and that it was working at just 20% of its capacity whereas a normal heart should be working at 55-60%. I was considered to be in "heart failure" because of this.

In the hospital, the Cardiologist told Kurt and I that it is recommended that we not have anymore kids because additional pregnancies could worsen the condition of my heart. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to hear especially since I'm just 22 and Kurt is 24. I cried a lot for months. I just was blessed with two beautiful girls but the thought that they wouldn't have any younger siblings killed me. Kurt remained very optimistic, but I was in shambles. People would ask when we were going to have more kids and I would have to fight back the tears every time and try to give a vague answer like, "I don't know. Not for a while." Then when I got home, behind closed doors, I would just bawl. Even though my life was filled with blessings, this trial made it hard for me to see that.

However, despite all of these things, I continued to try and take care of myself. I stuck to the low-sodium diet which was also a real struggle for me. I tried to exercise with the girls by going on lots of walks in the park since the doctor was very clear that I should not over-exert myself in any way. I continued to take the medications the Cardiologist prescribed so that my heart could heal and regain its function back as much as possible.

Two weeks ago I received a follow-up echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart) to see how these life-style changes have helped my heart heal. I met with the doctor this past Monday to hear the results. I was very nervous. I didn't know whether they would tell me I needed a heart transplant or if my heart had worsened. Kurt took off work so that he could be by my side to hear the news with me.

The doctor informed me that my heart has made a tremendous recovery and is working at 45-50% again! I am well on my way to a full recovery! She also informed us that because of this incredible recovery the possibility of having more children isn't out of the question. It would need to be further down the road after my heart has fully regained its function, and the pregnanc(ies) would need to be closely monitored. Oh my goodness, my heart did leaps in my chest when I heard that!

This has been the most difficult trial I have ever personally been faced with in my life. But there has not been a single instant where I have had to suffer through it alone. I have felt the comfort of my Heavenly Father every step of the way and I know that He had a big hand in my recovery. I have never felt closer to Him than in these last seven months. Through lots of prayers from me, and given on my behalf, I have had an amazing recovery - one that not many women who also have this condition are able to have. It has been my very own miracle.

I am also so grateful for Kurt. He has cried with me, encouraged me, and has given me unwavering strength throughout this entire trial. I am so grateful for him and his faith and support. My family and friends have also been a tremendous support during this time and I am so grateful for that too.

But my number one motivation for changing my lifestyle has been Aria & Cadence.

I want to be here to see them have children, to see them have grandchildren and I don't want to miss anything.

I debated about whether or not I should write about this here, but I knew that someone who might be struggling with the same thing may read it so I decided that I needed to tell my story. For those other women who are faced with this same terrible condition, my heart goes out to you. My battle has not ended at all, and my life will forever be altered by this experience. But we are "heart sisters" and I hope that my story can help you in any way to continue to have hope throughout this difficult time.

Daddy's Girls

These girls are certainly daddy's girls. Yes, Cadence may have said "mama" first, or Aria might calm down when I hold her during Sacrament, but if there's one thing that's for sure it's that they love their daddy.

Every night, before they go to bed, Kurt sings them a French Lullaby that he learned on his mission. When he learned it, he knew that he wanted to sing it to his babies when he became a daddy. That lullaby (and his silky voice) calms them right down and puts them to sleep. It is so nice to see Aria & Cadence be soothed to sleep every night before bed by their daddy.

I am so grateful that Aria & Cadence have a daddy that loves them more than anything, just like me. These girls are very blessed to have him and so am I!

We love you daddy!!! :) 

Seven Months Old!

Our sweeties are seven months old today!!! Can you believe it?! They are over half a year old now and they couldn't be growing more quickly! They both are getting teeth like crazy. They eat SO much and they are outgrowing EVERYTHING!

They have outgrown their bouncers, tons of clothes that they used to swim in, and have outgrown both their car seats and double stroller! We will surely miss these things, but it's time to retire them and move on because these big girls are growing every single day.

My favorite things about this period are:

New toys!

They love their new jumperoo from their papa & tutu! 

They also love their exersaucer even more! They play with all the toys and jump in it too!

New food!

They have eaten mango, guava, squash, carrots, peas, corn, apples, pears, pineapple, oatmeal, and more!

New strollers!

We got a new front and back stroller and they got knocked out while walking with grandma!

They love their new stroller because the seats RECLINE! Ah, so relaxing!

We also got individual umbrella strollers and they love them too!

New car seats!

They finally outgrew their infant carrier car seats and we replaced them with these two MASSIVE seats!

They take up the entire back row! Cadence is so proud of her "big girl" seat :) 

And lots of new teeth!!

They now each have four teeth coming in on top.

They have a total of 6 teeth! They are teething like crazy!!

Each of the girls have grown in the past month in their own ways. Their personalities are starting to become more pronounced, and so are their looks!

Aria is now 17 lbs. 5 oz. She is 27 inches long and loves to say "yayaya". She is much better at feeding herself with the bottle and is usually the first to finish it. She is starting to lift her arms up when she wants to be held and she gets so excited when she sees that we have food for her. She also loves when we put our hands on and off of her mouth so that she sounds like an indian when she yells. She is starting to become ticklish on her sides and she is getting a lot better around strangers. 

Cadence is now 17 lbs. 4 oz. She is also 27 inches long. She likes to say "mama" and "baba". She is the most curious little girl ever. She is always getting distracted while we are trying to feed her so it takes twice as long for her to finish her bottle. She always is able to find any sort of cords or wires we have around the house and she's not even crawling yet! We are babyproofing like crazy before they become even more mobile. She is very reserved and doesn't smile easily (which is why I love this picture because it's so candid!). She has a harder time falling to sleep at night, but she is always so happy in the morning.

We love these sweetie pies so much and are so happy to have had another wonderful month with them! We are excited for all the changes we are making as they grow - out with the old and in with the new! We are struggling to keep up with how quickly these babies are growing. We just can't wait for what the future has in store for these little cuties!

Why You Shouldn't Compare Your Twins.

So.... I need to make a confession.

I am guilty of constantly comparing my children. Comparing them to each other, comparing them to other babies their age, comparing them to other babies not their age, etc. I have been doing this to the point that it drives me CRAZY because my girls aren't walking at 6 months or haven't said "mama" yet or are still just rolling around on their backs and tummies rather than trying to get up on their hands and knees and crawl.

In the past few days I have realized something. I need to STOP.

Constantly comparing is not fair to anyone. I think because there are two of them I feel the need to try to compensate for there only being one of me by trying to push them to do things too soon. At three months when they weren't rolling over, I would push them onto their sides and hope that they rolled the other half. I met a lady on a Facebook group called "Utah Valley Moms of Multiples" who has 7 month old twin girls who are both already walking with the assistance of those little toy shopping carts! When I learned that, I thought Oh my gosh, Aria & Cadence have so much to catch up on!!!

But as I've thought more and more about it, they are so ahead in other aspects of their lives. They are only 6 months old and are both getting 2 teeth on top which brings their tooth count to a grand total of 4 for each of them. They are eating solids like champs and have eaten a variety of things from pears to guava to squash and even mango while other older babies we know are still exclusively on formula or breastmilk. And finally, they sleep for eleven hours straight each night which is one of my very favorite things.

If I compared all the things Aria & Cadence are still working on to all the awesome things other babies can do, then they'll never measure up. But considering all the SUPER awesome things they can do, they really do exceed the bar.

I love these girls so much and am so proud of them.

They are growing and learning at their own pace and that's good enough for me.

Being A Stay At Home Mom.

So, I've held this title of "Stay-At-Home Mom" for a little over six months now, and how do I feel about it?

It is truly the best job I've ever had!

I have always grown up knowing that when I had children I was going to stay at home with them just like my mom was able to do for me and my siblings. It made the most sense to me. I am able to do everything with my sweet daughters that I've always wanted to: sing to them, read to them, take them to the park, take them to the library, learn with them, play with them. It is SUCH a privilege for me to do all of these things. I know that there are a lot of single parents who don't have this luxury and my heart goes out to them. I am just so grateful that I have this time with my babies so that I can watch them grow and be there for every single step in their lives.

Today, for example, both Aria and Cadence were able to sit for a long time on their own without tipping over! Sounds trivial, but I was there to see it and Kurt (who is at work and school for most of the day) wasn't. It is so amazing to experience these moments as they happen and I am just sad that Kurt can't do that all the time.

Don't get me wrong, the job isn't all ups. It has its occasional downs - like two babies screaming at the top of their lungs in unison while you make bottles. Or two babies screaming at the top of their lungs while you are driving on the freeway and have no time to pull over and stick their pacifiers back in. Everything is more overwhelming when two babies are screaming at the same time, trust me.

But if I wasn't a Stay-At-Home Mom, I would've missed all of these wonderful moments:

Dressing the girls up for a dip in the pool in their brand-new swimsuits!

Cadence crying because the water was too cold.

Aria trying out her new exersaucer.

Playing with balloons for the first time.

Cadence trying out the new jumperoo.

Sleeping soundly for their (unheard of) four hour nap.

Trying to coax my stubborn Aria into smiling for a mommy/daughter selfie.

Wearing their gender reveal coats for the first time :) 

Nakey babies knocked out after playing so hard.

Aria getting all wrapped up in the blanket after learning how to roll.

Checking out some books at the library.

They were playing a game of who could take out each other's pacifiers first.

Cute Cadence finally smiling for a selfie with mama.

Aria having more fun with the curtain than the toys on the exersaucer.

Cadence actually bouncing in the jumperoo for the first time!

I get to do this. I don't have to. I don't need to. I get to.

And I wouldn't change a single thing.